We are all doing our best.

Without a doubt, with no competitor, this is by far the most helpful thought I have ever come across. The idea that we are all doing the best that we can has impacted my life more than any other strategy

or learning or perspective.

I wish I could go back and remember where it came from. Or when it entered my world. And I wish it had been an immediate “aha” moment with a lightbulb over my head. That I had realized the impact of it in the moment.

But as is the case with most change, it happened ever so slowly, piece by piece, without any big flashy signs or banners. And then, I realized that it was part of my everyday processing and it made all the difference.

What does it feel like as you read it? We are all doing our best. What do you notice in your body? We are all doing our best. Slow it down… We are all doing our best.

As humans we have a tendency to look for improvement and to be very aware of what needs to change. This is hard-wired into our system. To categorize and label and determine what is working and what is not.

From a very basic level, this goes way back to evolution and survival. We see a stranger and we immediately have to determine - are we safe around this person? We speak to a loved one and we decide - do we agree with their plan? These judgements led to safety and staying alive, in an evolutionary sense.

However, as helpful as this skill is, it can also cause harm. Snap decisions and an underlying tendency towards judgment - why is that person looking at me like that? Why is their decision different from mine? And ultimately, this practice of judgement can cause discord and separation between ourselves and others.

But what if we had the ability to challenge that thought? From categorizing and assigning safety levels and judgement to believing others and ourselves. Changing our assumption from “they don’t care” and “they’re lazy/tired/incompetent/unsafe” to “we are all doing our best”.

I encourage you to reflect on two situations that are close to home right now - something that is causing difficulty, frustration, or impatience at home and another at work/school/community. What assumption are you making about the first situation about others? Yourself? The environment? What if - instead we replace this with the assumption “we are all doing our best”. How does that change things for you? Emotionally? Physically? Somatically?

Try it again with the second scenario. Stay with it for a moment. We are all doing our best.

You have just practiced a brand new muscle, something you can take with you out into the world tomorrow. And don’t forget - in that assumption you are included in we.

We are all doing our best, including you.